Wrong number

… so tempted to call and see who picks up.

“Hi”

When you’re trying to stand out in a crowd… ‘Hi, doesn’t really cut it…’

I love my girlfriend…. Wanna fuk?

(And definitely not when I can’t spell either… Damn it!)

…would you be interested in a skinny submissive boy to train to…

What else could you possibly say?

Shall we sex?

No we shan’t.

Dating 101

1. “A good girl” – is that because I am clothed in all my photos?

2. Don’t give out your mobile number in the ice breaker message – do you really expect me to call??

I get by with a little help from my friends

Don’t you hate it when you take a chance on someone who is not your type. Agree to meet them for a drink. Only to have them get back together with their ex?!

I admit that this might be karma – Seeing as I was logging on that day to tell him I wasn’t feeling up to it….

But in any case, sometimes the best medicine to cure your frustration,  is to share the moment with your friends on Facebook – and laugh.

You have the biggest….

I am not a huge fan of blind dates.

My friends seem to think that this is another excuse for not wanting to go on blind dates. But truthfully, it’s not as if I have had great experiences with these sort of dates….

Take George* for example, who was introduced by my friend Tiffany* as one of the nicest, sweetest, funniest guy I would ever meet. She even suggested that we go out to dinner together to make things a little less awkward. Who would turn that down, right? 

So, things started out really well and Tiffany was right. He was funny & he was (relatively) sweet. But unfortunately, as with all things that involve me and dates, as we waited for our desserts to arrive, George decided he could no longer keep a particular comment to himself. He leans across the table, grins, and proudly states “I really need to tell you this. But you have the biggest <blank> I have ever seen on an Asian chick”. Righteo then. At least I know why George is still single.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons I am not a fan of blind dates.

*names changed

Hook up with Adam?

… I don’t think so. Even OKCUPID doesn’t think so.
Maybe a change of nickname will help your cause…

So do you think we’d make cute babies too?

Ummm… No.

“You have amazing facial aesthetics”

Free massages

I guess that is one way to make friends…

… Does this work?

I have a genuine question about this approach – does it work?
Or is your eyebrow raised too?

Maybe you need to find your pants first?

Be warned, you’re about to see a bare backside.

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Did he just assign me a case number?